Food Diary

So, I decided to write about how I was feeling food wise. It helps me to process what I'm feeling by writing it out.

Update:I decided not to do the Food Addicts in Recovery Program. At least not at this point. I feel like it's a little too extreme and does not address what I really want to change. But going to the meeting was really helpful for me to make the decision of what steps to take to make a change. My friend that went with me decided she will be doing the program and continuing going to meetings. I'm glad I could introduce her to it and I hope she will be successful. At least we can still support each other and talk about what we're feeling, knowing that the other person understands.

What I'm doing right now: Meeting with my bishop tonight and telling him what's going on. I'm also going to ask him for a blessing. I'm going to try to not eat sweets/desserts/candy for about two weeks to try to distance myself a little. Whenever I feel the urge to binge or eat sweets and I feel like I can't handle it and I start freaking out, I go on a walk. I get distracted by looking at all the cute houses I would love to live in and by getting endorphins.

How I feel: Like I can't imagine my life without bingeing or eating the things that help me feel calm and good. I don't know how to feel about this. It's supposed to be a good thing but I feel very anxious. I just don't know what I can even get excited about any more. If this is out of my life, I just don't know what I'm going to do to deal.with.life. I feel like overcoming this is impossible but at the same time I know I will be successful if I turn to the Lord and apply the atonement in my life. It will take a miracle and I believe that the Lord will help me as I take it one day at a time. I have to try THE HARDEST that I can possibly try to be successful. And as I do that, the Lord will take care of the rest.

More updates to come as I continue on in this journey of overcoming this addition.

P.S. This morning on the way to work I found TWO four leaf clovers right beside each other. Double the luck! :)