"I am a Woman of Great Power and Beauty"

Today made for a very interesting day. This morning (for no real apparent reason) I decided that I would repeat a mantra for the day. That mantra being, "I am a woman of great power and beauty". Like I said, I have no idea why I decided to do that. I guess it just gave me something to do on my morning commute while I listened to my ipod. So I kept repeating it over and over as I got off the metro and walked across Key Bridge into Georgetown. I had a meeting at work and as I was sitting there (admittedly not really paying attention), I had a thought come into my mind. That thought was, "it (it being the eternal scheme of things) doesn't matter what I look like". And then I felt the Spirit very strongly rushing through me confirming the thought that I just had. I was surprised and kind of amazed because first of all I was in a work meeting and second of all, it's not something I've been worrying about or praying about at all lately. And it's also such a simple fact and thought. It doesn't matter what I look like. Well, duh. Right? But I was grateful to feel the Spirit anyway and I logged the experience away in my mind thinking, "well that was nice".

Fast forward to later on in the afternoon.... My boss came into my office and told me he was going to rearrange it all because I'm such a big person... Uh.. yeah. This is the second time (in two weeks) that he's called attention to me being "big" aka fat. The first time I just let it slide because it was my first day at work and because he didn't say it in a malicious way. But this was the second time. And for whatever reason it bothered me this time. My cheeks were flaming red for a good half hour with the embarrassment and indignity of it all. I told him the office was fine the way it is. Honestly it's just a small office. Big deal. I was pretty offended and complained about it on facebook. And reading other people getting mad for me made me feel even more like, "yeah wow what a jerk, that was totally inappropriate". But then I kind of calmed down and realized, yeah... it doesn't even matter!

I remembered the feeling I had earlier today. And even though some people base all of their self-worth off of their looks, I can't afford to do that. Because I know that I am a wonderful person. I just happen to have issues with food and being healthy. That's my weakness in life (one of them...) I am trying to be better and that's all I can do for the time being. My friend Hannah brought up the point that you define who you are- not other people. So I just have to keeping doing that for myself (with the Lord's help) and trying not to let other people define me anymore. I used to do that. It's REALLY depressing. Because even if I was super thin and model gorgeous, I still wouldn't measure up to EVERYONE. I just need to focus on the good qualities about myself that I already have and stop wishing for what others have.

New Job!

So here's my crazy story of how I got a job. Okay it's really not that crazy. So, I had money saved up for about three months worth of living and I was at the end up of my savings. I was super worried about how I was going to pay April rent because I hadn't had any temp jobs or babysitting jobs for a while. I was dreading having to go work in a restaurant. I had interviewed for a temporary nanny job that I was more than qualified for and I think I would have done an awesome job. I left the interview feeling certain I would get the job. But I didn't. I tried not to worry and just trust that I did the best I could and if I didn't get the job, then there must be something better out there for me. I was stressing big time so this past fast Sunday I fasted that I would be able to find a job. The next day I found out I had an interview for an administrative assistant job in Georgetown. I went in on Tuesday and I think I did a good job in the interview (thanks Doug and Andalynn for helping me practice!). Then they called and said they wanted me to come in for a second interview the next day. I met the big boss and once again I felt certain I would get the job. Then later that day I found out that I didn't get it. The next day I went to the day institute class they have at my church (I assume for people who don't have a job?) Thursday at noon is a random time to have institute. The lesson was on self-reliance and the lesson started out talking about how we should trust in the Lord. I totally embarrassed myself by crying in class. I hate people seeing me cry! But I was definitely humbled and after the class I went home and prayed very sincerely that I would be able to pay April rent. I checked my email and the people that had turned me down asked if I would be interested in doing a temp job for them. It would be enough money to pay rent! I was so grateful! And then on Friday morning I woke up to a phone call. It was the job I had applied for telling me that the person they picked for the job changed their mind and asked if I wanted the job and if I could come in right then. So yesterday I woke up without a job but I ended up at work with a job by 10am. Everything worked out!!! Blessings do come. So now I am a administrative assistant to some property managers at Chatel Real Estate in Georgetown. Yay! I have no idea what I'm doing but I hope I don't embarrass myself too badly in the process of learning my way around my new job.

HAPPY MARY'S INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is the 6th anniversary of Mary's Independence Day. 6 years ago today was one of the worst days of my life. (I'm still not sure which day was the worst there are about three or four different days that were AWFUL!) 6 years ago today my marriage ended. My husband left me. It was also the last time that I've seen him. To me it feels like all that happened about 50 years ago. Or to someone else. It doesn't feel real and yet I can't deny that I remember how it felt. And sometimes that still gets to me. On Sunday we had the Stake Conference broadcast and when Elder Scott started talking about pornography addiction and how it can cause some marriages to end, I started crying. It STILL gets to me sometimes even though I wish it didn't. The thing is, I am over what happened and I've forgiven my ex-husband, but sometimes I still remember what happened and how it felt. A little sadness will probably remain my whole life but I'm hoping it will grow smaller and smaller as the years go on and I start a new marriage and a new family.

Well, back in the winter of 2007 marked the first anniversary of when my husband had left me. This time in my life was the absolute worst. (Like thoughts of suicide worst). But I had three amazing roommates at the time. I was back at BYU taking classes. These roommates were so loving and understanding. And even though I hate to remember the person I was at that time, they still loved me. They helped my healing and grieving process along. I mentioned to my roommates that I was really sad because the one year mark was approaching and it was making me think of how awful that day had been. My roommate and one of my most favorite friends ever, Chelsea, said, "don't think of it as the anniversary your husband left you. Think of it as Mary's Independence Day". That statement seriously helped me to change my thinking SO MUCH! Chelsea, reminded me to look at the bright side and the positive side of things.

I decided to throw a party to celebrate my independence day. I sent out Disney Princess invitations. I bought Disney Princess decorations including a little mermaid pinata and crowns for all the girls. (My diamond tiara was the cutest). All my girl friends came over and we watched America's Next Top Model, had a fabulous dance party with girl power music, and ate tons of chocolate all while wearing our princess crowns. Then when it came time to do the pinata, the girls told me to hit it first.... I had a baseball bat I think. I pretended that mermaid pinata was my ex-husband... and let's just say no one else got a turn at hitting it! It was one of the best parties I've ever been to let alone thrown.

Here's a very blurry picture from that night. Unfortunately these are the only ones I have... my face is all blurry but you get the idea.

Another blurry pic of me and Ava...and Johnny Depp...

Here's a fun old pic of Nicole and Chelsea (not from that night). Love them!



I'll always have fond memories of that party. So I can focus on remembering amazing friends and my own strength, instead of remembering that awful day that my husband left. This day every year reminds to me pause and reflect on how much further I've come since the last independence day. I think everyone should have their own independence day or some way to commemorate a day that they overcame something very difficult in their lives. I used to party every February 28th but it's become a normal day except for the time I take to remember and reflect. I'm glad it's become a normal day. :) Although I do try to take some time to do something really nice for myself. Today I got some delicious frozen yogurt. Yum! So in conclusion.....
HERE'S TO MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Go me!!!

I also listen to this song every year....

Update in Arlington (Yay for Friends!)

Okay, enough personality crap! Here's some rambling crap! It's not like people read blogs to be entertained anyway. (Okay, well sometimes it's entertaining...) We do it when there's nothing else to look at on the internets (that's a nod to you Cliff). So, I just ramble away at my thoughts and feelings and sometimes some people read it. Anyhoodily (my nod to Heather)....

Here are my thoughts lately.... Last year I didn't have many friends which was really unusual for me. I mean right?! All you who are friends reading this know how awesome I am! This year I am swimming in new friends!!! And not only friends that I say hi to at church and don't hang out with any other time. (I do have plenty of those). But also friends that I do stuff with on the weekends and during the week. And friends that actually understand me and are very similar to me! And friends that make me LAUGH!!! Friends who don't judge. Friends who are in the same stage of life as me. And also I really love my roommates. I have tons of friends here in Arlington and I seem to make more and more every week. I am just writing this to say how GRATEFUL I am for all of these friends. Because last year I went through a friend drought (although I am grateful for the awesome few friends that I did have) and I was starting to think something was wrong with me. Although I'm not sure why I was so surprised by the lack of people to hang out with. Last year one of my goals and things that I was praying for was to be okay alone. In the past I would always rely on being with other people to take my mind off my troubles. So I had a lot of time alone to reflect on who I was and who I wanted to become. Basically be careful what you pray for!

Anyway, now the problem is a job. I've been doing some temp work but nothing very long term at all. When I thought of temp work I thought like doing something for months at a time, not days. Also, I'm not even sure what kind of job I want to have. I have no clue! I do have an interview today for a longer temporary job. It would last a few months. I guess that would buy me more time to figure out what kind of permanent job I want. And to find a permanent job.

So to recap... Last year I had a wonderful job. But not many friends or opportunities to hang out. This year I have lots of friends and scheduled hang outs at LEAST three times a week. But no permanent job... yet. It's funny how things can change. But either way, life is good. It can be a little stressful and anxiety inducing at times but I love the peace that comes when I trust in the Lord. I know that He will provide for me if I do everything that I can and if I keep the commandments. I know I'm supposed to be here... I don't really know why but I hope to figure it all out soon. In the meantime, I'll enjoy having plans for tonight, tomorrow night, Wednesday night, Friday and Saturday. :)

Some pics!

Smithsonian

Me and some of my new favorite people at the Verizon Center cheering for Jimmer. (His team won! But the Wizards lost. Mixed emotions!)

Mt. Vernon

How to Deal with an ISFP

I apologize, this blog has become an ISFP blog... haha! I just saw this and thought yes! Please!

How to deal with an ISFP

Talk to them gently and in a soft voice
Hug them often; they prefer actions rather than words to express love
Ask them how they feel about things and what they would like to do
Go with them on long leisurely walks alone together
Let them have their space
Play gentle games with them--they like competition but prefer co-op (play gentle games with them?! Haha! But I think the point is I don't like too much competition?)
No horror films or anything too violent or dramatically sad. ISFPs like to be happy.(seriously!)
Make work fun, or they won't want to do it at all.
Let them have some me-time in which they can do anything they want
Tell them how they're talented when they doubt themselves, which could be often (yeah...)
They have an affinity for soft fabrics and long walks in natural settings away from large crowds
They like flowers and often have a favorite kind; ask them (hydrangeas!)

No More Advice Column

I decided that I'm not asking people for permission anymore. I'm done asking people if my behavior is acceptable or asking if I should change. I'm done asking for opinions on who I should be and why. I think I've got it covered. Me and God can handle that ourselves. This is not an "angry post". It's just a statement and declaration. I'll figure it out. I like who I am. I am EXTREMELY aware of what I need to change. And I'll decide on what really needs to change and what will always be essentially Me. Mary Frances Woodall.

The Most Misunderstood...yep.

Yeah, I seriously suck at expressing myself. Here ya go.


General description of the ISFP


- Most misunderstood of all.
- Tendency not to express themselves directly, but through action.
- Does not plan and prepare.
- Special kind of intelligence.
- Kindest of all the types.
- Sometimes seen by others as reserved and private.
- Instinctive longing for the natural, the pastoral, the bucolic. (Hmmm... that explains my last post about trees and nature...)
- Easily bored, wanting excitement, risk, chance and tests of luck.
- Spender rather than a saver. (Not good since I don't have a job and I can't stop spending money!!!)
- Likely to become a pacifist or environmentalist.
- Negotiates with ease.
- As negotiator, goes into a situation with the intent of getting warring factions to compromise.
- Troubleshooting
- Very low need to lead and control others.
- Lives harmoniously.
- Encourages all life to fulfill its potential.
- Difficult for ISFPs to understand the need of some people to impose limits or structure on others.
- Blends in.
- Can easily be overlooked or overpowered .
- Creative, artsy.
- Often oblivious to the "standard" way.
- Little need to lead or influence.
- Little interest in the conceptual and abstract and is most responsive to the pragmatic.
- Money is secondary, the primary concern is that service be rendered .
- Little need to plan.