Update!

Here's an update in my quest for beauty. It's nice when you have a list of goals and then you actually do something about it! So many times I made goals but I never really did them. I never even planned on actually carrying them out sometimes. It was just the thing to do. Make a list of goals. It was like I was just saving them for the future when I was "ready" or already perfect and they would just take care of themselves. But as we learned from a past General Conference... you have to start consistently being the person you want to become. Yeah, you'll make mistakes at first but if you don't try at all and just wait for the world to change you, you'll only ending up changing in bad ways. (The worldly ideals will become your own ideals). Anyway, here's my list of goals that I wrote up in March. So it hasn't really been that long, and I expect to take several years to fully reach the last couple of goals... BUT it's pretty awesome that I did the "action" goals already. And the last two will come eventually.
1.)Get some new makeup and wear it. (Did it!)
2.)Get a hair cut. (Done! Even though the lady told me I needed to condition more because I have frizzy hair....pshhh I condition ALL THE TIME!)
3.)Get a new outfit or two. (Done thanks to Nicole! Now the problem is I need to stop buying clothes! I've created a monster!)
4.)Take pictures of yourself and post them to facebook! (Also I think I'm going a little overboard on this but in the future my kids will be like, "Mom, I'm so glad you kept a record of your life those years when you were a nanny in D.C." Okay so they will never say that but whatever).
5.)Tell yourself you're beautiful and believe it. (Sometimes it works...)
6.)Allow the Lord to heal me from any self hatred and doubt about my own beauty! (Working on it!)

So, I definitely think my quest for beauty is coming along really well. Even though it is not easy. When I went to visit Provo a week or so ago, several of my friends remarked to me that I seemed happier and more confident which in turn made me look better. So confidence is key! And I'm working on loving myself now without having to change up everything. Yet, I'm changing little things that make a difference at least in my appearance. I think it's great that I'm single right now because it's so good for me to be discovering new things about myself and be able to love myself without relying on someone else to tell me that I'm "lovable" or "good enough". I recently got called to be in the Young Women's presidency at church and it SO important for me to be able to teach these girls about their own self worth. And I have to know about mine as well otherwise anything I tell them will come off as fake.

Here are some more of the pictures I've taken of myself. I hope you guys understand how good this actually is for me and know that I'm not just full of myself. It really helps me to see pics of myself and think that I look beautiful. So I hope you're not sick and tired of seeing me post new pics!

Answers

Okay five is better than expected! So I'll just answer these questions and if anymore people ask questions I'll just message them my answer or post it in the comments. Here are the questions and the answers:

1.) (From Sarah Stoddard) I want to know your Woodall line back as far as you have it so I can figure out if you and I are actually related :) I was a family history major so i am really into that stuff and if i find anything fun abt your family i will pass it along :) names birthdates and places if known.
Answer: I don't have the info with me. Maybe I can get my mom to send you a PAF file or something? But I'm sure we are related somehow. :)

2.)(From my Aunt Angie) Question #1 - Who is your favorite Aunt on your Dad's side? (I'm just kidding...) Here are the question(s) 1) What food do you dislike the most? 2)What is one of your pet peeves about people? 3) You are stranded on an island, besides shelter, water, fire...what luxury item would you take?
Answers: Well, you already know the answer to your first question because I've told you before! The food I dislike the most is seafood! Eating fish and shrimp and all that junk makes me feel sick and I don't think it tastes good at all! My number one pet peeve is when people chew loudly and smack their lips when they eat or chew gum. It makes me crazy. If I were stranded on an island I would take an ipad with me. I don't have an ipad but you can read and watch movies, listen to music, and check email/facebook on it and play games.

3.) (From Nicole aka Nic Nac) k, I really know most of your juicy secrets :) So I'm gonna go with a question about me: What was your first impression of me? And also, what is your guilty pleasure? And.... if you could have ANY one thing, what would be? (doesn't necessarily have to be a tangible object.. ya know, like world peace or whatever) And if you could go back in time and change something what would it be (and you CAN'T answer with nothing)?
Answers: My first impression of you was that you had a nice smile and seemed pretty friendly but also that the guys loved you. You seemed like the girl that all the guys wanted to go after. My guilty pleasure is television. Especially reality t.v. and Disney channel. If I could have any one thing it would be a freaking awesome husband!!!!!!!!!!! If I could go back in time and change one thing it would be this (and I have thought about this many times). In Kindergarten there was a new girl who moved in in the middle of the year. I thought she was really fun and awesome and I really wanted to be her friend. However, the "popular" girls (yes there were already popular girls in Kindergarten) decided she was weird and had cooties or whatever and made her a social pariah. We had to sit down on the floor and the girl (Beth) sat down and no one would sit by her. I thought about sitting by her because I wanted to be her friend but everyone was like "ew don't sit by her she's gross!" So I didn't. And Beth moved shortly after that and I never saw her again. I know it seems like a little thing and so long ago but I believe it could have shaped my life very differently. I would have been braver at an earlier age to stick up for myself and others which would have changed my life in the future. My biggest regret is not sitting by her and being her friend when I really wanted to but I gave into peer pressure.

4.) (From Cliff Chandler)Why are you so in love with me? ;)
Answer: Well, Cliff I will tell you why I am so in love with you. First off, we have a similar sense of humor which is awesome. Also, you are manly. And you are very good at singing and playing the guitar which is fun and relaxing to listen to. And I love singing with you in your car! You're laid back and easy going and not a snob. You're pretty real and you never try to be fake. We can talk about anything. (Which is weird for me to be able to talk to a guy about everything!) You don't judge me even though you've seen the very worst sides of me. And you're still my friend even after I was an emotional wreck. Also, you cuddle with me and it's nice because a woman has needs you know? (And you always go bowling with me whenever I want to.) Also I think it's awesome how you go to the temple every week and you've given me several priesthood blessings and it's just nice to know that you are a worthy priesthood holder. And when I think of you I get my eager face. Hahahaha! Love ya Cliff!

Here's picture of me thinking of Cliff with my eager face.

5.) (From Jill Berrett)Yeah, why ARE you so in love with Cliff?? ;)
Answer: See answer to question #4. I mean really , could you resist loving him?!

Ask Away!

So........I know this probably won't work....BUT! I was thinking it would be cool if you guys asked me questions and then I could write a blog post answering all of the questions. Yeah, no one will probably ask...but just think about it. You can ask me anything! And I will answer you! Even really good juicy stuff! Like you can even ask me about my divorce! (gasp!) But really aren't you just dying to know? You can ask me who I'm in love with. You can ask me who my favorite sibling is. You can ask me who I hate. You can ask me my deepest darkest secret...maybe. You could just ask me a question about yourself like what my first impression of you was. And the cool thing is that I will be honest! It can be like truth or dare where if you pick truth you HAVE TO tell the truth. Okay just do it! (Even if we never really talk/talked so what I won't think it's weird and I'll still answer you). I just think this will be fun.
Love, Mary Cherry

Traveling with Twins

Me and Jackson the chubster.


Last week I was in Provo for graduation and to visit some awesome friends! But to get there I flew with my boss and my two charges Addison and Jackson. My boss Stacey and I each had one twin on our lap for the flight. This is not the first time I've flown with Addison and Jackson but the older they get, the more they want to wiggle around. Anyway, needless to say it is crazy flying with two babies. I thought it would be fun to post pros and cons to traveling with twins. (Yes, there are pros!)

Pros
1.) You get to jump ahead in lines (sometimes) and you usually get to board the plane when first class people do.
2.) If people can pick their seats and there are no assigned seats, people will choose NOT to sit next to you.
3.) People cut you some slack. Well, some people (I'll tell you about the ones who don't in the con list). For example, we were going through security and I forgot to separate my laptop and my backpack. So the security guy was mad at me and was basically asking me if I was an idiot who had never flown before. The guy next to him was like, "Dude! Ease up! Can't you see she has her arms full?" I did indeed have my arms full of a chubby cute baby.
4.) People are really nice to you and tell you stories about all the twins they know. They smile at you and the babies. (This could also be a con.... some people won't shut up!... just sayin').
5.) It's an icebreaker! If you're sitting next to a cute guy on the plane... he may or may not start asking you questions about the baby and then you can assure him you're only the nanny and you're single.... Just kidding! But really...he was cute.
6.) People congratulate you on your achievements. While we were waiting at our gate for the plane, a guy came up to me and said, "I was behind you guys in security and I just have to give you mad props for making it look effortless!" Now, that just makes you feel good and basically feel like a rockstar and that you are very talented.
7.) People give you money! I'm dead serious! We tipped the skycap guy and he had twins and loved our twins. So he gave them each a dollar back! And we were like um please don't hand the babies money because they will put it in their mouths and money is dirty! But thanks!

Cons
1.) People are ruder than normal. Some people anyway. Not everyone as you can tell by my pros list. But seriously, me and Stacey had to deal with super rude people complaining about us, the twins, their lives, everything. One lady tried to cut us in line and gave us the stink eye when the guy helped us first because we had our hands full. Some other ladies were complaining that we were in the way...dumb. And people sitting next to you get mad and annoyed...
2.) So much stuff!!!! Traveling with one baby means bringing a lot of extra stuff. But multiply it by two and you just have a bunch of crap you have to carry with you. Including milk which just might leak all over your stuff.
3.) Explosions! You could get pooped on and have to walk/sit around with poop on your leg. Okay, okay so this didn't happen to us this time but it almost happened to Stacey but luckily it was before she left for the airport so she could change.
4.) They won't sit still! It's hard to keep a 20 pound baby on your lap for five hours and expect them to just sit there all entertained. They throw toys around and sometimes people will pick them up for you and sometimes they won't.
5.) It's hard doing things with one hand. Going through security and putting your bags on the plane and getting situated while holding a baby is hard. You can't argue with me on this. It's hard. (But apparently me and Stacey make it look effortless!) Also you can't just read or eat or drink or use your tray because the babies will grab everything.

Well, as you can see there are more pros than cons. Which might just mean I like to have a positive attitude. Either way, I now have a greater respect for all of those who travel with kids, especially twins! When I fly by myself again, I will no longer be impatient or bored. I will be living it up! (But those babies are so dang cute!)

Why Graduation is Such a Big Deal to Me

So I'm walking for graduation today. It doesn't seem real. I actually graduated in December and that didn't seem very real either. So why is graduation from BYU such a big deal for me? Well, besides the fact that it is a huge accomplishment for anyone to graduate from college, especially BYU, I've had a few other issues that slowed me down a bit.
Yeah yeah, I promise I'm not going to complain. But here's the journey I went through in very little detail:
Fall 2004: Yes THAT long ago... I started BYU as a young freshman in love.
Winter 2005: I decided not to go to school this semester and instead went back to Tennessee and got married.
Fall 2005: Came back to BYU married. Started classes. Abuse from husband caused severe depression. Withdrew from all my classes so we could move back to TN to be closer to family.
Feb 2006: My husband left me. I won't go into too many details because I've pretty much healed from this experience and I don't feel like going into all the awfulness of it. I moved back home.
Fall 2006: Back at school. Had an okay semester (amazingly).
Winter 2007: This is when it all caught up with me. This is when my depression was at its worst. Considered suicide. Got a stern talking to from my roommate. Had wonderful roommates who helped me and went to counseling.
Fall 2007: Moved to Monticello. I have learned and changed so much while living at Monticello. I met so many amazing people who all in their own way, just by being themselves, slowly helped me heal a little at a time.
Fall 2010: I GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!! Even though Stats and Sewing were super hard!!!!!!!!!!
PRESENT DAY: Here I am back at Monticello visiting because I'm walking in graduation today. The journey was long and hard. (I know I left out a lot of details but trust me it was freaking HARD!) I'm not sure if I'll even really use my degree. But the point is I have one. It was hard. And I had a lot of obstacles in my way. I could have given up. But I persevered and I did it! Yay!
P.S. The only way I made it through was with the help of the Lord and through the people he sent to help me.

How Depression and Anxiety Changed My Life For the Better

I realized that it is a miracle that I am depression free in my life now. I still have anxiety every once in a while but it's not as debilitating as it used to be. Some people may be wondering, "what's the difference between depression and anxiety?" (or you may not care at all.... but beware it could happen to you one day!)

Depression- Depression is by far the worst. It is the kind of soul sucking black hole hellish situation that makes people kill themselves. I'm not being sarcastic. When it gets bad enough you really do want to die. I actually considered it once...But I don't want to go into that story. Depression is a feeling deep in the pit of your stomach that also makes you feel like your soul is really really heavy. There is a stage in depression where you decide you'd rather be numb than feel all the hurt and despair you're feeling. So sometimes you become a zombie. You don't care about how other people feel, you don't care about yourself, you don't care about anything. You can not feel hope or joy when you are depressed. You can not feel the Spirit.

Anxiety- This is the one that makes it hard to breathe. It also makes you want to stay in your room or bed all day because you're too afraid to face the outside world. Anxiety is being afraid of things that haven't even happened yet. But you're so afraid of what will happen, you don't do anything but lay there and worry and cry. This makes it very difficult to go to work or class or to keep the plans you had to hang out with friends.

Now, you may ask, "Mary? Are you okay? Why are you talking about this on your blog? Are you depressed again?" The answer to that is no. But it's good for me to reflect on the fact that I did go through this extremely hard disease of the brain for about 5 years. There was one year in particular when it was the worst. I'm sorry for my roommates at that time and all the people I've affected since by being a downer and an annoyance. But I also wanted to let people know who may go through severe depression and/or anxiety that you can get through it. I'm so happy that I was able to get through it even though it took a few years. I'm a better person because of it. So here are the ways it changed my life:
1.) I enjoy happiness and relish laughter even more now and I'm so much more grateful for being happy.
2.) I can recognize when others are sad or depressed and I can help them.
3.) I can say that I've experienced a true miracle by being healed of depression and I have learned more about the atonement.
4.) I have more love and compassion and empathy with others who are suffering, no matter what the cause of their suffering is.
5.) I know that people with depression aren't faking it and can't just will themselves to be happy. And I learned that (the right)therapists really do help.
6.) I have a lot more faith and hope and charity than I would have if I didn't experience this trial.
7.) I appreciate and love living a day to day ordinary life because it feels so much better when you are not depressed.
8.) I know how much the Lord loves me.
9.) I feel that the Lord entrusts special people with depression. I know that sounds weird and I don't know why. It's just an inkling I've had and a feeling I've had. There is a reason for it besides just suffering.
10.) I LOVE LAUGHING and being goofy and watching silly movies and I don't care if other people think it's weird because it just feels SO GOOD to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also want to say I know there are no guarantees that I won't face severe depression in my life again. But for now, I'm doing really well and I hope it stays that way. And I know that because I went through this very very hard trial, I can face any future hardships I may have with faith and courage because I know the Lord helped me through this one.

Adventures on the Metro

Oh boy! The metro the metro... Well, the metro is a crazy place. Definitely not as crazy as the subway in New York, not as crowded as the one in London (I'm guessing?) But the metro here in D.C. is still CRAZY!!! Sometimes amusing, sometimes worrisome, sometimes a little scary, but always crazy! I've been waiting for a while to write a post about the metro because I wanted to get some more good stories. And I think last night gave me all the material I needed. (More about that in a minute). So without further ado here are some fun things that happened while I was riding the metro:
1.) Getting stuck in the door- The metro door (or so I'm told) used to open up again if you happened to be in the doorway while it was closing. I guess people started taking advantage of that too much and delaying trains because now the door does not open up anymore. I've seen a few people get stuck and it always makes me concerned and yet amused. One man with very very long dreds got three of his dreds stuck in the door of the train. He gently tugged on them to see if they would come loose but because dreds are kinda fragile (I think?) he had to wait until the next stop to free them. All the while standing there looking sheepish and embarrased.
I've seen people get their backpacks stuck, one guy had his foot stuck. Another man was so determined to get on the train he pried the doors open (or at least tried). The train driver guy yelled at him over the intercom. The man just told him to "shut up" and he got on anyway.
2.) Close calls aka professional metro riders- Some people have been taking the metro for years and feel comfortable enough to judge whether or not they can make it onto the train or not. They slip in turning sideways as the doors close. They run onto the train at the very last possible second and they don't get caught or stuck. I think these people are highly skilled but I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I will risk getting stuck in the doors.
3.) Getting separated- Sometimes there is a big group of people, especially now that tourist season is starting up. And sometimes someone gets left behind. It's sad! You look out the window and see their stricken face as the train zooms off (okay sometimes it's kinda funny but not if it happens to you!) The craziest/scariest separation story I didn't actually see but I heard about it from my boss. A mom was getting on the metro with her baby in a stroller... the stroller got on but the mom didn't.... But luckily the people who saw it took the baby out and waited at the next station for the mom. But still!!! If you have a baby, you should not try to be one of the "professional metro riders".
4.)Trouble on the metro- Sometimes people get in fights on the metro. Kinda scary. You can look them up on youtube... Also sometimes girls like to gang up on you (and by you I mean me) and call you all kinds of names but you just pretend not to hear them and hope they don't follow you off the train. Yes, this happened to me... Stupid mean girls...
5.)And last but not least THE CRAZY PEOPLE ON THE METRO- There are crazies who take this lovely public transit system. They talk to you, sit next to you, ask you for money, tell you their life story, or shout gibberish. The key is pretending that they are not there. Now, I've seen this happen to plenty of other people on the metro but never me until now... Last night as I was in a practially empty metro station waiting of the train. I sat down on a bench since it was going to be a 15 min wait because it was late at night. I was sitting on the very end of the bench so if someone else wanted to sit down we wouldn't have to sit right next to each other because hello, that's awkward. Anyway, I was sitting at the edge of the bench and this asian man was standing next to it. I was listening to my ipod and the next thing I know the man sits down on the one inch of bench that I'm not sitting on. So basically he sits right on me! I look at him and take out my earbud and I'm like "oh sorry, I'll scoot over". He seems appeased by this. I notice the lovely smell of alcohol all over him. So I scooted over and he starts scooting closer every time! And then he starts talking to me in some asian language (korean??) but even I can tell he's probably slurring whatever he's saying even though I don't speak the language. So I pull out my phone and text several people about what's happening. And I keep ignoring him which is really hard for me because I hate being rude to people. But I've learned when you live in a big city, sometimes you just have to be rude. He keeps talking to me and gesturing to the tracks and all around. I keep ignoring him. My friend Heather calls, concerned for my safety and he gets up and walks away. Well, he didnt' exactly walk away. He stumbled away in a zig-zaggy fashion. I feel concerned that he may fall onto the tracks. After assuring Heather that I am indeed fine, a woman sits down next to me, gives me a huge goofy grin and says hi. Which is kinda weird because people around here don't chat with you, especially not waiting for a train. Then I smell the alcohol on her and understand her cause for extra friendliness. Then my train pulls up and I go home. CRAZY PEOPLE!!! I love riding the metro. The end.