It's a Gift, Right?

(Don't worry, this is just a reenactment of my "ugly face cry", I am not going to the bathroom in this pic. Ha!)


They say that the ability to weep is a gift. Who "they" is exactly I'm not sure... One of my religious professors at BYU showed the class a quote once of spiritual gifts that we don't usually talk about. The ability to weep was one of them. After hearing that crying could be considered a spiritual gift I took that idea and held on tight. I decided to let it be my consolation. Because if crying is a spiritual gift, then I must be an angel by now.
It seems like no the matter what the situation is I only have two different reactions: to laugh (which I infinitely prefer!) or to cry.

When my friends threw me a surprise going away party last year... I cried. Big time. Everyone was like "is she for real?" It got real awkward real fast. It wasn't just oh I have tears running down my cheeks. It was sobbing. And then people were like "oh but these are happy tears right?" *awkward silence* No! They were not happy tears!!
When I woke up after having surgery for the first time... I was crying for about an hour! (The second time I had surgery... I was on the opposite end laughing my head off).
When I got engaged... I cried. When I got divorced... I cried (that one's a big duh). And then I cried non-stop for approximately two years.
When I'm really happy... you guessed it! I cry! When I'm sad... I cry. The worst is when you cry when you're angry. (Which obviously I do). It sucks because you're so mad and you don't want to be all vulnerable but you can't stop the tears.
On Tuesday right after the fun earthquake here, I cried. I cry during movies, books, when someone else is crying. That time of the month brings on extra crying. The fact that I'm a girl probably contributes to the amount of crying I do. I also cry with people, I cry because of people. CRY CRY CRYBABY!!!!

Now, if you know me at all, you know that I do actually laugh quite a bit as well. I'm pretty sure that I've laughed so hard before that I started crying. And as the lovely Dolly Parton says, "laughter through tears is my favorite emotion". I agree. The feeling of being really sad and crying and then someone or something making you laugh in spite of your tears is the best feeling ever. It's such a relief. I don't know how to explain it, but if you've ever experienced it you know what I mean.

I may never know why I cry so much. If it's really a gift, then I am so blessed. :) And it's okay. It makes me human. I'm sensitive and compassionate and if you ever want a shoulder to cry on... or better yet someone who will sob with you- then I'm your gal! And you know what I do even better than crying? LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahaha! (Cue wheeze laugh) And throw in a couple of snorts for good measure.