I was thinking about change today. No, not the pocket full of coins kind of change. You know, change. The one thing that is constant and that you can depend on.
I was watching a random movie where the woman got married just to get away from her family. The man she married loved her but she didn't love him. Throughout the movie, their relationship changed and she grew to love him deeply. And at the end of the movie... he dies of cholera. I wouldn't recommend watching this movie unless you like sad endings! (I wish I had known someone was going to die at the end because I wouldn't have even watched it!!!) But it made me think about my own marriage. I knew when we were going through such a difficult time that change was possible. I hoped that we could both change and stay together. I knew that we could both change for the better and that our marriage would be made even stronger because of the difficulties we had, if we overcame them.
Unfortunately the thing that did change was that we were no longer married to each other. Obviously now, I think this has been for the best. But I know that if we both tried hard and had real desire to make it work, that the Lord would have helped us.
And now my ex-husband is marrying another
I have changed more over the past six years than any other time in my life. I sometimes don't even remember who I used to be before I got married. But the interesting thing is that even though I have changed drastically, there is still the core of myself that has remained the same. My spirit has remained the same. I just keep uncovering more of myself and getting to know who I am even better.
But even though I believe my spirit has always been the same, I have still been able to change for the better. I believe I can be better every single day.
And this past year (yes I know it's not over yet... this year so far) has been a year of a lot of changes for the better. I was put in a new situation that caused me to really look honestly at who I was. I've learned so many new things from being here in D.C. I've made many changes that I've been wanting and praying to make for several years.
It didn't happen overnight. But I believe we can all change for the better if we truly desire it and if we are willing to do whatever it takes to make these changes. They can be very painful and seem impossible. But with God's help, we can make them.
I also know that sometimes the most painful changes are things we have to experience in order to achieve the kind of change that is the best for us. To achieve the change of becoming our best selves. We can't see the big and complete picture but God can. I know that He has been leading me down this road of changing to help me find the me that has been inside the whole time.
Another change that I'm so looking forward to is the changing of the seasons. I LOVE FALL!!! Every new change is a fresh start and you can do whatever you want with it. Making new changes every day is a wonderful thing. But the stability of the gospel, family, and loved ones makes all the changes more doable and less scary.
I'm not very eloquent and not the best writer. And I know scores of people have written way more beautifully and truthfully than me about change before. But it was just something I was thinking about today.
Change is scary when you think about the things you love now being taken away or diminished. But there is always the opportunity for change for the better. And that is always worth it.
I'm so excited for the change that is in store for me in the future. It's gonna be totally awesome.
3 comments:
Very wise thoughts, Mary. Thanks for sharing! I feel like I've been reminded of something that I needed to hear. ^_^
It reminds me of a quote by CS Lewis, “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.”
Mary! It just so happens that I haunt your blog too. :) and I also really love reading your posts.
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