Drowning

Depression feels like drowning. You are struggling and you can't breathe but everyone around you wonders why you don't just pull yourself up out of the water. Why don't you just rescue yourself? Every once in a while you break through the surface and gasp that little bit of breath before heading back under. But you are just surviving and every moment is a struggle. It takes all of your energy just to stay alive but you are expected to act like everything is fine. Like you are lounging in an inner tube instead of drowning underneath the water. You still have to go about your day to day tasks and duties when you have no breath left and you have no energy. And everyone looks at you and wonders why you are so lazy and why can't you just get it together? Others who are coasting by on their floats and boats pass by you and wonder why you can't just float? It's only drowning. No big deal. There comes a point where you just want to stop the struggle to breathe and just give into the dark depths of the water. To just relax into the comfort of oblivion. To just give up and stop trying to fight.

But there is something that comes from this underwater struggle. All of that time spent underwater struggling to stay afloat and stay alive makes your muscles stronger. You are able to hold your breath underwater for longer periods of time. After spending all that time underwater you are able to see things more clearly through the seemingly murky water. You notice things the people who are busy floating above the water on their backs don't notice. You find treasures and pearls buried at the bottom of the ocean.